so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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