It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize