I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
