i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
