What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
