I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
