therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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