i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
