It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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