Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
