you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
