Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
