Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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