Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
