Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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