i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
