dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
