hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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