Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
