I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
then he tried to convert me to islam
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
