oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
