Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
