I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
