We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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