My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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