You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This is my gift to your gina
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize