I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just forgot I was standing up.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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