I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
