I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize