When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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