Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
