You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
