He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
