I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
