i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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