Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
