Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
