haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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