the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
