community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dicks are not precious.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
