they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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