I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
