Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
