i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just forgot I was standing up.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
