Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
