She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
