so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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