Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When are your genitals available?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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