Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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