I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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