Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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