the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
