I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
