When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
