I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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