the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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