don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
