You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
